Shades of Gray
by purplesparkleypanda
Summary: I'm Shane Gray. Welcome to my messed up life of SEX. DRUGS. ROCK AND ROLL . . . a first person look inside the head of a "Rockstar". Decided to continue.
1. Chapter 1

"Shane! Over here!" yelled another photographer.

"Shane Gray!"

I was tired of these people following me. Ever since I had made my movie debt last week, the paparazzi had been extra clingy. I was walking out of my favorite night club in San Francisco, "The Rocky Room" and realized I had to run to the car that was waiting for me because of all the cameras.

I was a little buzzed, but tonight it was just alcohol. I looked at my cell phone. 3 am. God was I going home early. I was pretty sure that I fell asleep until I got back home. Sure enough, people were waiting outside of my house when we got there, but outside of the giant wrought iron fence that Cassidy had insisted on getting.

I stumbled through the door. God was I hungry. Maybe I had gotten a little drunker than I thought.

I took an apple off of the counter, bit into it and threw it in the trash.

Sleep. I needed sleep.

I managed to get myself upstairs, and into bed next to Cassidy, who had probably been sleeping for five hours already.

No sex tonight. As usual.

I was kind of wondering what the point was in having a wife.

Oh yeah, so I'm not alone.

And because she was pretty freaking hot.

I pulled the entire comforter over the clothes I was wearing to the club, not really caring about Cassidy or being clean.

This is what it was like to be the great Shane Grey.

Not a teen anymore, but still troubled Shane Grey.

Why should I care? I'm a fucking rockstar.

-

I woke up to Cassidy shaking me.

It was seven in the morning.

"Shane what time did you fucking get home last night?"

"I don't know. Lay off, yeah?" I mumbled into the pillow.

"Freaking pig. Still wearing the freaking clothes you got high in last night?" she screamed at me. I still wouldn't look at her.

"I didn't fucking get high. I got drunk."

"Oh, so much better," she was still bitching.

I sat up. Her hair was a mess and she was wearing a bathrobe over some flannel pajamas. I married a hot model my ass.

I rolled out of bed and went straight to the shower, much to more of Cassidy's bitching because I was ignoring her.

The shower was cold but I deserved it. I had another interview today on some women's morning radio show. Just what I needed, more bitching women.

Cassidy was gone by the time I got out of the shower. She probably had a shoot today. Whatever.

On the way, I saw another giant billboard with Rockstar featured, complete with my flipping face on it.

It pissed me off. They forced me to do that movie, now no one will leave me alone. That was the dumbest movie ever, not to mention I'm no freaking actor.

It broke the box office.

Yay me.

We made it to the little recording studio, why they had wanted me to interview here, I didn't know.

I sat down in the lounge and flipped through "People" magazine. I found a picture of Cassidy and I walking out of Ed Hardy last week. What a joke.

I wondered where my coffee was. They said I would get coffee. All they had in this freaking lounge was water. I was really pissed because I had specifically requested vanilla bean coffee to be at this interview. I was going to refuse until I got it.

I was about to get up and find the stupid manager of this place when I heard the door open behind me.

Probably an intern.

"Hey, I asked for vanilla bean coffee. Does this look like vanilla bean coffee?" I held it up and poured it on the table.

I could feel the person getting closer to me.

"Figures. It's Shane Grey. Go to Starbucks asshole."

I almost choked on my own spit. Did someone seriously just say that to me?

"Did you just say that?" I asked spinning around in my chair.

I came face-to-face with a face I thought I never had to see again.

Mitchie.

"Mitchie Torres?" I asked dumbfounded.

"The one and only," she replied, smirking at me.

And for a second, I remembered before Cassidy. Before Connect 3's break-up, and the end of Nate and Jason's friendship. Before my solo CD. Before Rockstar. Before I was 21.

Then, there was Mitchie.

Then, I was happy.

But it was much too late.

**A/N: Let me know if I should keep going, I have a lot of ideas for this story, it was just spontaneous. I really need to know if you guys want to read more so I don't waste my time on this one. **


	2. Chapter 2

"Long time no see Shane," Mitchie said, keeping a distance from me.

"Yeah," I wasn't quite sure what to say at that point.

"How's CASSIDY?"

I kind of laughed. She didn't look happy about that.

"Great, I just love being married to a bitching broad," I said sarcastically.

She was silent. Mitchie knew. She knew me the best out of everyone who had ever known me.

"So . . . it was still worth losing me? For the sex, right?"

"Hell no. You've got her beat in that department."

I couldn't believe I said that. I was such a jerk. A stupid famous dumb jerk.

"That's comforting. You know what? Why am I wasting my time?" she snapped.

And just like that, she was gone. She was here, than she was gone.

She was gone again. Because of me.

-

"So Shane, your character Robbie in Rockstar is a pretty tough guy, are you really the tough guy everyone thinks you are?" Gabbing Gabby, a 30 year old annoying as hell radio personality asked me on air.

"Well. I'm not really tough. More intense I guess." I said, trying not to say anything my manager told me not to.

Which usually happens anyway.

"If you're just joining us we're talking to Shane Gray, star of the new break-out movie, Rockstar," the dumb bitch decided to inform everyone, "Let's take a call. Margie, you're on the air with Shane!"

"Hey Shane . . . like OH MY GOSH I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M TALKNG TO YOU . . . (screams) anyway, I was wondering how you and Cassidy find time for each other with such busy schedules LIKE OH MY GOSH YOU'RE SHANE GRAY!" Margie annoyingly proclaimed.

No shit I'm Shane Gray.

"Well Margie (forced laugh) Cassidy and I don't see each other much anymore, but we talk every day," I answered.

Bullshit. She bitches at me every day. And sometimes we have sex.

"We're going to take a quick break, and then we will be back with Shane!" Gabby squeaked.

We were off the air.

"Where's my fucking vanilla bean coffee? Jesus Christ," I demanded.

I was a rock star. I needed my flipping coffee.

"At your service your HIGHNESS," says Mitchie, walking into the room, as Gabbing Gabby glared at me.

I frowned at her.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked, taking the coffee from her.

"Intern. I'm working here until I'm done with college, and hopefully I'll get a job close to record producing," she said.

"Record producing? Since when, you were never the producer," I noticed.

"I gave up on the singing and decided to do something I might actually have a chance at," she said, "why am I talking to you anyway?"

"Because you still can't resist the magic of Shane Gray . . . just like everyone else," I joked.

She didn't take it as a joke.

"So . . . that's all I ever was. Just like everyone else," she snapped.

Uh. I hate women.

"Whatever Mitchie. Why don't you just go clean something? Isn't that what interns do?"

She kind of looked like she was going to cry, and I actually felt a little guilty. I stood up, not know quite what I was going to do.

"This isn't you," she said simply, turning to leave.

I grabbed her arm, and she turned back around, looking straight into my eyes.

There was something there. In those eyes, the ones I used to love so much. With this girl I used to love so much.

Something was still there.

And she knew.

-

After the interview, in which I accidentally disclosed confidential information on my next tour, it was finally time to leave that stupid dump of a studio.

I decided to eat lunch by myself, but there were too many camera people at my favorite restaurant, so I just decided to go home. Maybe sleep. Then I would have more energy to go out at night.

_I really wanted to get high_. All this Mitchie stuff was making me crazy.

Why did she have to show up and fuck with my head?

Goody. Cassidy was home.

When I walked through the door she was eating carrot sticks and reading a magazine at the kitchen table.

"Hey!" she greeted me enthusiastically.

I would take advantage of this.

I walked up to my wife and kissed her all over the back of her neck.

She giggled, "Shane!"

"How was your shoot?"

"It was okay. It was for Vanity Fair, no biggie," she said, kissing my cheek.

It was on.

I picked her up and threw her on the couch in the living room, which seemed to exhilarate her.

It had been so long.

I looked down at the girl under me.

Blonde. Thin. Famous.

Then it hit me, and all I could think about was her . . . _Mitchie_.

Beautiful. Bright. Happy. Amazing . . . Mitchie.

Looking at Cassidy, all I could think about was sex. All I thought about her was sex. All I needed her for was sex.

I got up, leaving Cassidy, and slammed the door.

_I needed to get high._

But I found myself just walking. Toward that shitty recording studio. I didn't know what I was thinking.

What would Mitchie want with a married, drug-using, spoiled-ass, shitty person like me?

Everything was so fucked up.


	3. Chapter 3

People stared at me as I walked the sidewalks. It was the late evening, and the paparazzi hadn't quite figured out where I was. I debated whether or not I should keep going to see if I could find Mitchie, or if I should just go to "The Rocky Room" and party.

I was near the studio. I had walked so far to get there, but I was thinking about turning back and calling my driver to pick me up.

I was really cold.

_I kind of still wanted to get high._

I looked at my phone. 24 missed calls. 10 voicemails. All from Cassidy.

I didn't feel like dealing with her right now. My driver's name was Rick and he was always ready when I called. I pushed his speed-dial and waited.

As Mitchie turned the corner.

Jesus Christ.

I hung up.

"Shane?" she asked, pulling her leather jacket closer to her.

"Yeah . . . haha. It's me," I said stupidly.

She probably thinks I'm crazy.

"What are you doing back here?"

"Well, I was . . . in the area and I wanted to know if you wanted to talk to me. It's okay if you don't. I'm a jerk and I'm probably being a jerk so it's okay if you really don't want to talk to me ever again," I rambled.

"Okay," she said simply.

"Okay? Um . . . cool I guess. Want to get some coffee?"

"After today's episode I don't think that's a good idea," she said, referring to the vanilla bean incident.

"Well . . . we can talk here."

"Shane, where's your car?"

"Um . . . I walked, sucker for fresh air, you know?"

"You walked all the way over here?"

"Sure."

I was nervous. I was staring at my feet.

"So what do you want to talk about?" she asked, stepping a little closer to me.

"Um . . . I don't know."

"Shane, that makes no sense," she decided, "I know what I want to talk about."

Silence. The sweet and total sound of complete silence.

"What happened between us Shane?" Mitchie asked suddenly.

And on that street corner, in the middle of San Francisco, a block away from a crappy radio studio, I broke down. My heart started beating really fast.

What happened between us? I didn't even know.

"I have no fucking friends anymore Mitchie," I said, starting to tear up, "I don't have you, Nate, or Jason. All I have is a wife that I spontaneously married to get over you. But you know what Mitchie? I never got over you. I never WILL get over you."

I, Shane the rockstar Gray, was crying. Crying like a little kid.

"Shane. You're 21 now. You're married and successful. I don't have anything to do with your life anymore," Mitchie said.

I sensed she wanted to say more.

"I can't even tell you why I cheated on you. I felt like I needed to do something bigger and better. That's when Nate and Jason thought I was over Connect 3, and them. And at that time, I was over their shit," I confessed, "Cassidy was there. I felt like I should have someone like her."

Mitchie was getting more and more upset by the looks of things, and I regretted coming to find her.

"Shane . . . I'll never forgive you for what you did," she admitted, "but honestly, I haven't gotten over you. All the shit you do in the media, the way you act, I know it's not you and it breaks my heart over and over again."

She stepped back from me.

She wasn't over me either.

"Mitchie, will you give me a second chance?" I asked, hopeful.

"I can't give a second chance to a married man. That's not who I am," she said, "I can't even believe you would ask me that."

I missed our life together. All we had been through, all the times we sung together. I missed making love to her. I missed us.

I felt guilty as hell . . . I felt like I was cheating on my wife. But I felt like I was doing the right thing all at the same time.

"I should go," I said suddenly.

"Me too, I have homework," she told me.

"If you change your mind," I started, "here."

I handed her my cell number.

She took it.

She put it in her pocket.

We both knew what it was for.

-

I ended up at "The Rocky Room" when Mitchie left. My driver dropped me off and I walked straight through the door, not waiting in any lines.

After all, I was a rock star. The Rockstar. Robbie Rockstar bullshit.

I needed something to drink. I got it.

I lost track of how much I had drank. I think I had smoked something.

_I think I was finally high._

There was some wasted girl giggling right next to me. I think she was famous. I think I was wasted too.

That's when I got a call.

"Hello?" I laughed when I answered the phone, completely and totally out of it.

"Shane . . . ?"

"The one and only baby, who is this? Cass?"

"It's . . . Mitchie."

We both knew what that meant.

I somewhat regretted the amount of whatever I had consumed, and stumbled out of the club.

I was going to see Mitchie.

Like _see _Mitchie.

**A/N: Review and let me know what you think. Am I going too fast? There's a lot more ideas for this story, and I don't know if I should keep going if not that many people are interested. I have other story ideas as well. Thanks to everyone who reviewed and supported previous chapters. Chapter 4 is already written . . . so if will eventually be posted after you BEG! Just kidding . . . :p**


	4. Chapter 4

I really wished I wasn't drunk. I hadn't expected Mitchie to call so soon. Actually, I hadn't expected her to call at all.

I somehow made it up to her apartment and knocked on the door. I think it was 10 or maybe 12 at night.

I was nervous. For some reason, I was nervous, but she was the one who called me.

Mitchie answered the door in a pink bathrobe.

Oh shit she was fucking hot. What the hell was I ever thinking?

"I'm surprised," I said, a little dizzy.

"Why?" she said, looking at me seductively.

God was she sexy.

"This isn't what you do," I remembered she had said earlier.

"Well, maybe I've changed," she said, pulling me in and closing the door behind me.

I had sobered up some by the time I got there, but I had also noticed a bottle of something on Mitchie's counter. She was a little tipsy too.

It was so on.

I found my heart beating faster than ever. I remembered her body. I remembered the full on feel of her skin and her hair, her smile, and her voice in my ear. Our bodies fit into each other's perfectly. Arms and legs were intertwined like a knot that could never be untied.

God, had I missed her.

We didn't waste any time. We were ripping each other apart. It had been so long, but we both remembered what the other person liked.

All I could think about was being in the past. All I could think about was her. I pretended like nothing bad ever happened between us, and I felt that so familiar passion that I had never felt with another person.

It was exhilarating, but satisfying.

So Goddamn satisfying.

-

I had not one ounce of guilt. Not even when Cassidy called me in the morning.

"Hmm?" I answered the phone, trying not to wake Mitchie.

"WHERE. HAVE. YOU. BEEN! You never came home last night? Where are you?" she said in hysterics.

"Mmmm . . ."

I didn't feel like dealing with this.

"Cass chill," I said, "I'll be home in a bit. My meeting with the label is later."

"Whatever Shane," she cried.

"You know what, fuck off," I retorted suddenly.

"Why are you so MEAN to me?" she demanded, crying even more now.

_Because you're not what I want anymore. You never were._

"Because you are annoying me," I said, "I think you should leave me alone, I'm a fucking grown man."

"And I am your WIFE so therefore I should know where you are!"

I couldn't deal with this anymore. It had to end soon.

"Cass, I have to go, I'll see you in a bit."

"Go WHERE Shane?"

I hung up.

I turned over, and thankfully Mitchie was still sleeping. She looked peaceful and angelic. Perfect.

I rolled out of bed.

I had a headache from last night's consumption of who-knows-what, and made a trip to the bathroom to fix it.

I walked back into Mitchie's room, just as she was sitting up.

"Shane," she looked really sad, "I think . . . that I still love you."

She said it. What I wanted to say to her. I think I could feel my own heart breaking, looking across the room at innocent, sad looking Mitchie.

"Me too," I agreed.

"And it's not just because last night was completely and totally amazing . . . just as I thought it would be," she explained, "it's because every time I think about you my heart breaks again. You just have that spell over me. And it's never going to go away."

I was going to cry like a little baby again. Big rockstars don't cry.

I felt hot tears in my eyes, "I'll fix it."

I guess that I am a little rockstar.

"How? How are you going to fix a heart that's broken in a million pieces?"

"With time," I said, "I'm done with Cassidy. I've made up my mind."

"She's your wife, you can't just be done," she noticed, getting more upset.

She looked perfect in her satin nightshirt, and I felt comfortable around her in my boxer shorts.

I kind of felt like going at it again.

"Divorces happen," I reminded her, "and I won't be intimate with her anymore."

Silence.

"I don't know if I believe you," she finally said, "I don't know if I can trust you again."

_I wouldn't even trust me again._

"I don't want to be the other woman," she admitted.

I thought that it was probably too late for that, but I didn't tell her.

"I have to go to a meeting Mitchie," I said, "Can I see you tomorrow?"

"See, or _see_?" she asked.

"Either. I'll miss you until then."

"I'll miss you too."

And with that, I grabbed my shirt, gave the beautiful girl a quick kiss and was on my way.

What had I done?

Had I made promises I couldn't keep? Was it love or lust? I wasn't sure if I was thinking with the right head. Uh.

Rick picked me up, and we were on our way back to the house. I was hoping Cassidy had gone by then so I wouldn't have to see her.

I was so confused. Completely and totally confused by everything.

I didn't want a divorce.

But oh God, did I want to _have_ Mitchie again. In each and every way.

**: Tah Dah! I'm actually regularly updating. What will happen next? Only I do know . . . and I will leave you all in pain wondering! :P Let the begging begin childrenssssss . . . **


	5. Chapter 5

Cassidy was home when I got there. I almost just left, but I really needed a shower.

I walked through the door to find my wife crying on the kitchen table.

"Come on now, suck it up," I said, irritated as ever at her.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU! WHAT IF YOU DIED OR SOMETHING?"

"Pfffft. You wouldn't have cared anyway. I think that would probably fix a few problems," I laughed.

Thought I died my ass.

"Shane baby, I LOVE you, and I don't think you love me anymore," she whined.

Course not. Duh.

"Baby, come on, could you please just grow up a little?" I asked.

"Shane-y, it's been almost 2 years . . . I don't understand why you've changed, why you don't want kids, why you stay out all night and ignore me all the time," she balled.

Geez was this annoying.

"Cass, I don't want kids right now because of my career, I'm the same freaking guy you married, and I ignore you because you annoy the hell out of me," I admitted, answering all of her questions, "right now I need a shower. I have a meeting to go to."

I walked upstairs, leaving her to drown in her pool of tears. I seriously couldn't take all this bullshit anymore.

Mitchie wouldn't give me bullshit. She never did.

It felt good to take a shower, but I felt like I was washing off all the precious traces of Mitchie from my body.

It was crazy to think about how I hadn't seen her in almost 2 years, and our feelings were still there. Thinking about the past reminded me of everything that happened, about being offered a solo CD, and my jealous two friends walking out on me.

I met Cassidy on tour for that CD. Mitchie wasn't around. My friends weren't there. And when I got back, everything was different.

I talked to Nate a few months ago. Since Connect 3 broke up, he had gone to college, and so had Jason. Last I heard Jason was married, but he wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't sure if Mitchie still talked to any of them. I kind of missed having a best friend and a friend at all at that. Seeing Mitchie kind of made me want to call Nate, but I wasn't sure if he wanted anything to do with me either.

-

Eventually, I actually got to the meeting with the record label.

"Shane! How's it going my friend?" asked Greg, my producer.

There were a few important people there that day, including my publicist Gina and others I couldn't remember their names.

"It's going," I replied simply.

We were in a meeting room. I felt like I was an office worker or something.

"Shane, we were wondering why you gave out some of your tour dates early," Greg asked.

All the people were sitting there, writing notes on their little clipboards.

"Oh, I just slipped dude," I laughed, "my bad."

Greg shot me a look.

"Well, we wanted to bring you here because your new CD isn't doing as well as we had planned."

Oh shit.

"Okay? How bad?"

"Not TOO bad, just not as good as the past. We want to offer you a new project," Greg explained.

"Okay . . . what is it?"

This was either going to be really awesome, or really lame.

"We want you . . . to go on tour as Robbie Rockstar instead of Shane Gray," Greg said, "the movie is insanely popular right now, especially with the teen crowd. You could do a lot better as Robbie."

Fuck.

I didn't want t pretended to be freaking Robbie. Robbie the "bad boy" who becomes Mr. Perfect by the end of the movie. Was this a freaking ploy to get me to change or something?

"I think it's lame," I replied honestly, "I'm going as Shane. That's who I am."

"People are digging Shane so much right now," Greg stressed, "There's a picture of you falling out of a nightclub in the paper every morning. Not to mention the one I got on my desk this morning."

What the hell?

"What was it?"

He handed me a magazine.

Oh fuck. Fuck times a billion.

There was a picture of me and Mitchie talking on the side of the street. And she was standing pretty close to me.

"Is that Ms. Torres? Your ex?" Greg asked, as if he were so smart and cool.

"None of your business!" I yelled.

"You dated her for four years . . . I know who she is, and so does the media," Greg pointed out, "I don't know what you're trying to pull . . . but things aren't really looking up for you right now Shane."

I didn't really care what he was saying. All I could think about was Mitchie, and how mad she was going to be. All the rumors. Cassidy finding out.

"I don't even want to go on tour anymore. I'm so sick of you guys," I said honestly.

"You seriously want us to drop you from the label?" Greg asked.

People looked up from their clipboards, and there was an array of gasps.

Oh shit. I couldn't get dropped from the label.

"Well . . . no. Not exactly. I think I just need a break dude, you know, to clean up my shit," I said, telling the truth.

I wanted to be better for Mitchie. I needed Cassidy to go away.

"I'll look into a project for you, like a movie, where you can record for the soundtrack or something. Meanwhile, I want you to get straightened out. I don't care what you have to do, but if you don't, I don't think we can keep you on our label anymore," Greg explained, "You're too much of an investment that isn't working anymore."

Great. So I was temporarily unemployed.

"Unless you want to go on tour as Robbie . . ."

"No. Fuck Robbie."

I was done with this bullshit.

"Catch you later than Greg," I said, standing up and walking out the door.

Mitchie. I needed to call Mitchie.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mitchie?"

"Yeah . . . Shane?"

Mmmm . . . just hearing her voice got me kind of hot.

I'm such a pervert.

"I miss you . . . are you busy?"

"A bit. I don't think I can see you today," she said, not sounding very happy.

"Well . . . alright . . . Mitch? Did you see the paper?"

"Yeah."

"Are you mad?"

"Yeah."

I didn't know what to say. She was being pretty boring today. She was mad. What the hell was I supposed to do?

"I'll talk to you later then?" I asked.

"Okay fine," she said.

Sweet. At least she wasn't going to stop talking to me again.

She hung up.

I decided to send her a lobster gram. She would think that's funny.

I decided to go home.

-

"Shane? Is that you?" Cassidy yelled down the stairs.

No shit it was me.

"Yeah," I said, debating whether or not just to leave the house again.

"Great! I have a surprise for you!" she squeaked.

Wow. She was the complete opposite of this morning.

Maybe I was getting some. That would be sweet. All this thinking of Mitchie had gotten me kind of hot and I needed some relief.

"Come here Shane Baby," she yelled.

Sweet.

I ran up the stairs. It had been a week since we had actually gone all the way, well, since Cassidy and I had. Maybe that's why she had been so bitchy lately. She needed some Shane in her life.

When I got to our room she was there. There were candles lit, and a smiling Cassidy sitting on the bed with a silk nightgown on.

"Shane-y! You forgot what today is, and when I remembered, I thought we should spend some quality time together!"

What the fuck was today?

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Shane-y. Our two year wedding anniversary! I just remembered when you left for the meeting. How silly of us!"

Oh shit. Oh Jesus. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. It was our freaking anniversary.

"I didn't get you anything baby," I said, sitting next to her on the bed.

"It's okay, I just thought we could do some intimate talking," she laughed.

"Or something else intimate . . . " I added.

She laughed, "That's the Shane I remember. But I'm afraid that isn't going to happen today."

Good. I'd be cheating on Mitchie anyway. I really freaking missed Mitchie.

"Why's that honey pie?"

"Because baby . . . I've been waiting for the right time to tell you," she started, "Shane baby, you're going to be . . . a DAD!"

FUCK!!

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, my heart was beating fast.

No one could know. Mitchie would hate me again.

"Yeah! I'm serious Shane," she smiled.

"Why didn't you tell me? It's my freaking kid."

"I was waiting for the right time!" she said, "I knew this was going to bring us back together!"

"What do you mean by that?"

"I uh . . . knew that the baby would bring us together!"

"So . . . have you felt sick or anything yet?" I asked.

I didn't know anything about pregnant chicks.

"Um . . . YES! I threw up this morning, it was_ horrible_!"

I was starting to feel bad. I couldn't abandon a kid! I couldn't divorce Cassidy when she was pregnant or I would look like a big ass.

Shit just keeps getting worse.

-

I wanted to go out tonight. But I felt bad because Cassidy was there, _and she was carrying my child._

So I stayed home that night, and I actually cuddled up next to her. _After all, she was carrying a little Shane._ If it was a boy.

I hoped to god it was a boy. I didn't want to deal with more girl drama, especially if it were my own daughter.

Could I love a child? I was pretty selfish as a person. I wasn't sure. I also wasn't sure if Cassidy would be a good mother. I knew that Mitchie would be a good mother.

Maybe Mitchie and I would have kids.

If we were together.

Fuck.

I would probably stay with Cassidy because of the kid.

"Hey Cass?"

"Yeah?"

"Let's not tell anyone about the kid, okay?"

"Alright, we won't for now then," she agreed.

Maybe Cassidy wasn't that bad. _She was carrying my baby_.

What the hell was I going to tell Mitchie? I knew she was the better person. The prettier person. The sexier person. And I really wanted to fuck her like . . . right about now.

But . . . a baby changes everything.

I was going to prove I was a changed man. I was going to make hit records again, and not have to hide behind _fucking Robbie_ for fans.

I was going to change. I was going to be Shane Gray, the good boy again.

I was going to call Nate.

I was actually going straighten my shit out. The baby was coming.

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who is supporting my story. I like how you guys are telling me your opinions on stuff, it's kind of helping the story to continue because it helps with ideas. There is still a lot of story left to go, so don't worry . . . and don't worry. Smitchie is not out of the question . . . I'll just say . . . Cassidy is evil. Plus, I added the "fucking Robbie" just for all of you guys! :) Want another chapter soon?**


	7. Chapter 7

I woke up the next morning to my phone ringing.

"Shane's phone," I mumbled, with Cassidy still wrapped up in my arms.

"Shane? It's Mitchie," said the voice on the other end.

Shit. I was going to clean up my shit and now she had to call.

"Yeah what's up," I asked.

"Two things: what are you doing today? And I'm allergic to shellfish."

I'm doing nothing. I'm doing absolutely freaking nothing because I'm practically unemployed.

"Oh . . . wow I'm an idiot, I forgot," I said.

"Forgot what Shane-baby?" Cassidy asked, sitting up.

Holy Shit.

"Um . . . I forgot about my interview with Seventeen magazine today, it's the editor," I lied.

"Shane? Is that Cassidy?" Mitchie was asking over the phone.

"No!" I yelled, and hung up.

"Shane, were you yelling at Gina?"

"No. Telemarketer. Anyway, how are you feeling hun?"

"I'm fine why?" she asked, getting out of bed.

"You're fine? What about Shane Junior?"

Something was fishy. And it wasn't the lobster gram I sent Mitchie.

Thinking of Mitchie, I needed to call her back.

"I have to go," I said, "call me if you need something."

She looked a little upset.

I grabbed a shirt and pants and ended up on my back porch with the shirt on, and no pants.

I called Mitchie back. It rang. And rang. And rang. And when it was probably on the last ring she answered.

"Why did you hang up on me?" she asked, as she answered.

"Sorry, listen, I want to see you today to talk about some stuff," I told her, "meet me . . . at Heidi's Pancake House in a half hour?"

"Shane, you wouldn't be caught dead in Heidi's Pancake house. It's not . . . a celebrity hang out so to speak," she said.

"I know, than no one will know I'm there, and no one will see me with you," I said.

I was such a genius.

"Okay, well I have some news for you, so be ready," she said.

"Well . . . so do I," I laughed, hanging up the phone.

-

So how do I tell her that I can't see her anymore . . . that I'm going to be a Dad? I wondered, as I was almost to the sorry old pancake house.

I needed to straighten myself out. I didn't want my son or daughter to do drugs, or drink, or cheat on their significant other like I have been known to do.

But it was so hard knowing that Mitchie is the one. She was always the one. Since Camp Rock, since I got married, since a few days ago when I saw her and I felt it all over again.

She is the one. But I can't have her. I was going to break her heart again.

I walked through the doors to the pancake house, and it seemed like no one really recognized me, except a tween girl who kept staring at me. Mitchie had a table already, and it felt so good to see her bright, refreshing face.

I didn't even think of her as an object anymore. I didn't care if I had sex with her today, or even if we kissed. I was just excited to see her, and I wasn't sure if that was okay, or still wrong.

I think I was changing back into my old self. The self I was with Mitchie.

"Hey you," I said, sitting down.

"Hello," she said, staring down at her menu.

"What's eating you, Mitch?" I asked, looking down at my own menu.

"Well for one, you said you weren't going to be with Cassidy now that we were seeing each other, and two I have bad news," she answered.

Great. I was a little worried. All this shit was confusing me. Almost to the point where I wanted to go and get high again, but I couldn't.

"Well, what is it?" I asked her.

"Shane, I got an e-mail the other day, and it said that . . . well, they are shutting down Camp Rock and building a really big car dealership in it's place."

Shutting down Camp Rock? They couldn't . . . they just couldn't. That's where I started, it's where Mitchie and I started, it's where I became who I really am, and not the monster I was turning into.

"We have to do something Mitchie . . . a concert! I'll have a concert! We'll show how great Camp Rock is, and everyone will want to go! And then . . . they won't sell it anymore!"

"That all sounds great, but when are you going to have time for that?" she asked.

There was a baby to attend to soon.

The project. The project Greg wanted me to work on. It would be the concert!

Everything was looking up. Everything except Mitchie and my relationship.

Until she came.

"SHANE GRAY. I KNEW IT."

Oh shit.

Cassidy.

"I HEARD YOU ON THE PHONE I KNEW IT WAS HER."

People in the restaurant were starting to stare at us.

This was going to be on TMZ tonight.

"Cassidy, we really need to talk . . ."

"Yes, we do," she agreed, pointing a finger in my face.

"Cass . . . the only reason I'm staying with you is because of the baby . . ."

Mitchie's head almost snapped off as she looked up.

"THE BABY? WHAT ABOUT ME SHANE? YOU SEEM TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THIS MOUSY, UGLY, GOOD FOR NOTHING SLUT OVER HERE!" she yelled, pointing at Mitchie.

"Hey now . . ." Mitchie stood up.

I could see it now. An all-out brawl between my wife, and the other woman.

Instead, Cassidy simply sat down and put her face in her hands. Mitchie looked very confused.

"I lied," she whispered, "I lied I was pregnant so you would be nice to me . . . and we could be happy again."

Jesus Christ.

I couldn't even believe it. I wasn't going to have a kid. I wasn't going to be a Dad. No Shane Junior?

"You fucking bitch!" I yelled, standing up.

She just sat there and cried.

"If you want to leave me . . . just do it. I always knew you still loved her anyway," she said, still holding her head down.

It was true. I still loved her. And now I could be with her.

We would file for divorce. I could be with Mitchie.

I would have my life back . . . everything . . . except my friends.

I needed to make a few phone calls.

I motioned to Mitchie to follow me, and we left Cassidy crying in the restaurant.

I felt bad but I didn't.

I felt liberation.

Free.

I felt . . . changed, like Cassidy was what was holding me back all along.

We didn't talk as we walked down the street. Mitchie did loosely hold onto my hand.

I found his name in my phone.

Nate.

What did I have to lose? I pressed send.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hello all! I'm finally updating. I didn't really know where I was going with this story, but now I do, and I've written yet another chapter. Thanks for all your great reviews, it's really awesome that you guys like my story! ******

I waited. It felt like a million years before Nate actually picked up the phone.

"Nate's phone."

"Nate?" I asked, like an idiot because he had already said it was his phone.

"Yeah? Who is this?" he asked, "it better not be another one of those dang telemarketers . . . how many times do I have to tell them that I'm not interested in a subscription to Hermit Crab Owners Monthly?"

"Um . . . no. It's actually . . . well, dude, it's Shane," I said finally, Mitchie glaring at me because I sounded so stupid.

"Shane? Why are you calling me?" he asked, a little too harshly for my liking, "Aren't you too busy being a sell-out actor or something?"

Shit.

"No dude, I've just been thinking lately about all the crappy shit that went down with us, and I want to fix it."

There was silence. I checked my phone to see if he had hung up, but he hadn't.

"Shane, are you serious? It's been like . . . years since we've been friends."

"Yeah Nate, but we were _best _friends, we were a band," I said, feeling even more crappy as I talked.

"Maybe . . . but all that crap when you dumped Mitchie and married Cassidy . . . you turned into a completely different person. You turned into the person you were before we had to send you back to Camp Rock, and I couldn't stand it anymore," he admitted.

"Nate, Cassidy and I are done, I'm filing for divorce, I've realized she was the problem, and well, Mitchie and I are back together."

". . . Are you seriously going to put Mitchie through that again? Dude, I kept talking to her after you dumped her. You flipping broke her heart . . . that was the shittiest thing ever done to a great girl like Mitchie," he said.

What? So he had still talked to Mitchie.

"It's been about a year, we haven't talked since," Nate said, "but she was freaking depressed dude, she was on meds and shit."

Oh God. I did that to Mitchie? I know I treated her like shit, but I didn't know it went that far.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all the crap I did, and all the things from the past Nate, I just want us to be cool . . . and maybe be friends again?"

"What do you want from me Shane? You're in the media, you have everything. You're in the tabloids stumbling out of bars every week. You're a freaking wreck, and my life is pretty great right now and I don't need you bringing it down again," he replied.

This wasn't going as I thought it would.

"Nate . . . will you just agree to meet me? I want to talk about some stuff," I asked.

There was a long pause, and Nate let out a long sigh.

" . . . Alright. But you better not be talking bullshit Shane, because I'm REALLY done if you haven't changed," he agreed.

"Okay, you remember where Mitchie lives?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"Meet me there in like . . . two hours?"

"Sure."

"Okay, bye?"

"Bye."

Wow. I had talked to Nate. And he was going to talk to me! I never thought this would actually happen. I missed Nate, I missed all the great times we had together. Sure, there were the parties we went to, there were the tours and the concerts, but when it came down to it, we had just been best friends. I got my back and you've got mine best friends.

"So he's coming?" Mitchie asked.

"Yeah, he's actually coming!"

It was a bit of a walk, but we made it to Mitchie's without running into anyone who wanted to take a billion pictures of me. But of course, we would be in the paper tomorrow when word about the divorce got through.

Mitchie and I talked. We talked about _everything_, caught up with each other. Mitchie's life really was broken after me, but we worked things out, and I think everything would be okay with us.

Eventually, there was a knock on the door.

Nate.

"Hey," I said, not sure if I should shake his hand, or give him a hug.

"Hi," he said, looking a little uncomfortable.

He looked the same as he always did, only older. Nate was one of those people who could pass for younger than his age.

We sat down on the couch, and Mitchie sat in the chair across from us.

"I wanted to ask you something," I said to Nate.

"Yeah?"

"Dude, Camp Rock is shutting down. Mitchie just found out. It made me really want to call you . . . and well, so much of my history is there . . . OUR history. I wanted to know if you wanted to help me save it."

"What are you going to do Shane, _buy_ it?" he asked, looking surprised at the news.

"Nah, they won't sell it. It's going to be a car dealership or something," I said, "I was thinking, well, I was thinking Connect 3 could get back together and do a concert . . ."

Nate's mouth dropped open. We had broken up on such bad terms; I wasn't surprised at his reaction.

"What about Rockstar Robbie, and your world tour?" he asked.

_Asshole. _

"Dude, haven't you kept up with anything? I'm done with that. My record company gave me a 'break' and I'm supposed to be working on my life," I told him.

"Well . . . I'm up for it. But _you _have to call Jason and ask him. He won't believe me if I tell him you've changed. I mean, Shane, he was so hurt by the way you acted. He's still pissed off," Nate said.

Wow. And I thought it would be hard to get Nate to listen.

I was half way there. I would have to go to Jason's house to get him to listen.

Mitchie was quiet the whole time, almost like she was nervous.

"You okay Mitch?"

"Yeah," she said, staring straight at Nate.

Nate looked down.

"What's going on?"

I was so confused. Why were they being so weird?

"Shane, if you and Nate are going to fix things, well, if we're going to be together again, there's something I need to tell you," Mitchie said, looking like she was going to cry.

"Sure Mitch, go ahead."

"You won't be mad? Promise you won't."

"I won't be mad," I said.

This was getting really strange.

"Well, Shane, when we broke up I was really upset and everything, and since you dumped on Nate, we became friends," Mitchie explained, "and, well, we didn't actually date . . . but well . . ."

"Well?"

"Well, we were _seeing_ each other."

"Seeing? Like . . . sleeping together?"

"Well . . . yeah."

Oh shit. And she was so upset about losing me, my ass. Jesus Christ!

The thought of Nate and Mitchie made me so mad. Shit.

_What the fuck now?_

**A/N: How's that for a twist? :P I just wanted to ask you guys, if you're looking to read an awesome fic, check out "Falling Uphill" by ibreakthesilence512. It's co-written by me, and LetTheRadioBreakTheSilence. She's the voice of Mitchie, and I'm, you guessed it, the voice of Shane once again. You can find the profile in my favorite authors section. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: wow. 9 whole chapters. I don't even remember last time I actually got this far in a fanfiction. I think this will probably be the second multi-chapter fic I will ever finished. All the comments really help. Thanks so much! :) Without further adeu, I give you chapter 9. A sort of uneventful chapter, that will tie up some ends! **

Mitchie was always perfect to me. She could never do anything wrong, she was the ideal specimen to me. Now, the innocence was out of the picture, and I could see her in a whole new light. For the first time in a long time, I really realized how terrible I had been. I had caused so many problems, so much pain for the people I loved and cared about so much.

It was time to change. It was going to be hard for people to start taking me seriously again.

For the first time in a long time, I became emotional. I started to cry. I, Shane Gray, rockstar extraordinaire was crying. I was amazed myself, and as I stared back at Mitchie through water stained eyes, I noticed that she was tearing up as well.

"Shane we were drunk," she explained, "we weren't together anymore."

"No," I said, "That's not why I'm upset . . . I'm not even upset. I'm just relieved that I've realized how shitty I've been and I not going to ruin anyone else's life from now on."

It felt good to cry. It felt liberating, like all of my pain was being flushed out of me. I wasn't mad about Nate and Mitchie, and I think it was a sign of maturity. If I could get over this, I could get over anything, because it wasn't all about me. I, Shane Gray had finally grown up. I had finally changed, and realized the world isn't all about me.

-

I had to talk to Jason, and I knew he wouldn't take me seriously unless I came to him face to face. Nate had given me his address, and I was standing outside of his house. It was a normal house, nothing extravagant. I wouldn't really expect anything too crazy from Jason.

When I had finally worked up the courage, I rang the doorbell, and waited nervously outside.

"Hi," said a girl, opening the door.

Jason's wife most likely. She was of smaller stature, with curly brown hair, and a big smile.

"Hi, is Jason here?" I asked, "I'm an old friend of his and-"

"Sure he is! Come right in!"

Wow. She sure was friendly.

When she opened the door, a little gray dog jumped on me. I loved dogs.

"Oh don't mind Sparky," she laughed, "He's harmless. I'm Dani by the way."

"Shane," I replied, petting Sparky.

She gave me a strange look. Maybe she thought she recognized me, which she probably did.

Soon enough, Jason came downstairs. He was wearing a very business-like suit, and he didn't look very happy.

"Shane?" he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Dude, before you get mad, I just want to talk to you," I said, "Give me a chance?"

"Another chance? You ditched us two years ago and never looked back," he stated simply, as Sparky came up to him.

"Jay, come on," I said, "I've grown up now. I've fixed everything . . . Mitchie and I are together. I've realized it's Cassidy that was holding me back and I'm done. I'm done with this sell-out stuff, and I'm ready to make real music again."

"What about Robbie?" he asked.

"Fuck Robbie," I laughed.

He did too, "honestly, I was ready to push you out the door, but there's something about you that kind of makes me want to think you've come to your senses."

"I have! Dude, I have. I missed us all being friends," I said, "I want to fix my life, and I could never forgive myself if we stay enemies."

Jason paused for a second, petting Sparky and thinking.

"You're forgiven," he said simply, "TWO YEARS dude, seriously. If you ever pull this shit again . . ."

"It won't happen again," I laughed, pulling my old friend into a hug.

I was laughing more. Smiling more and I didn't even need the drugs to feel better. I didn't need to drink, I didn't need to cheat. My life was just as good as all those things.

-

I called Greg as soon as possible with the news. Jason had agreed to get back together with Nate and I, and we wanted to perform a concert to save Camp Rock. He was surprised. I think he expected I would my career would be going down the toilet from here.

Within a few days, there were so many changes. I had moved into Mitchie's apartment for now, and Cassidy and I became officially separated, awaiting the divorce proceedings. Connect three was back together, and we had begun practicing for the big show.

It seemed like things were looking up. But could it really be this easy?

**A/N: Don't worry. It's defiantly not over yet. If you like it, please leave review! Thanks much for all your support for this story, and if you haven't yet, go read "Falling Uphill". It's pretty good if I do say so myself! ******** Don't miss out on this great collaboration! **


	10. Chapter 10

It was the day of the concert, and I was feeling a little nervous. Connect Three had not performed together in over two years. I would be judged. Teed girls would be there screaming for me, well Robbie. The stress was really starting to get to me. I was supposed to meet Greg in an hour, but instead of getting ready I had myself locked up in Mitchie's bathroom.

God was I pathetic.

I thought everything had been fixed. Everything was picture perfect, but when I really sat down to think about my issues, it was all coming back to me. Karma is a bitch.

"Shane? Shane, are you still in there?" Mitchie asked, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm great," I lied.

Mitchie was the definition of perfection to me. I didn't deserve this ideal girl. I didn't understand why she was still in my life, and where this would take me.

"Okay, well. I need to get in there okay?"

"Alright, give me a minute."

I stood up, a little dizzy from sitting for so long, and looked at myself in the mirror. Dark hair, dark eyes, slim. I was Shane, not Robbie. I had the life I wanted. I had my girl, and I had my band. I was back to normal, but I still felt like all the baggage would catch up to me. Hopefully after we saved Camp Rock everything would be fine.

I opened the door to the bathroom to see Mitchie sitting on the floor outside. As soon as she saw me, she sprung up, pushed me aside and slammed the door. I felt a little guilty, I mean, it kind of sucks to hold it for that long. Ugh.

It felt like I was waiting for Mitchie for quite awhile. I paced around the apartment. It was so clean. She kept everything neat and clean, even if it was just us living here. The paper with the court date for the divorce proceedings was sitting up on the counter. Tomorrow.

Life felt like it was somewhat falling apart, all while it was being mended. As I looked at that date, something within me made me realize it was for real. No more Cassidy. I felt sorry for her, it's not like I hated her, and it's not like I wished anything bad for her. As I thought about it, I never really gave her the chance to show me her true self.

I was kind of hungry, so I opened up the refrigerator to find something to eat during the painstaking wait for Mitchie. My eyes were drawn quickly to the bottles in her fridge. The supply of drinks she had stocked the fridge with. One. One would fix this nervousness, one wouldn't ruin anything.

I took a sip. It felt like an old friend. Quickly, I needed another old friend. It was feeling like home. I was feeling better.

"Shane?"

Mitchie.

"Yeah?"

"What are you doing?" she asked, walking into the kitchen with a worried look on her face.

It looked terrible. Two empty bottles and one half-empty. All within a matter of minutes I had consumed that much alcohol.

"Mitchie, I'm sorry I-"

"I cannot believe you would do this!" she yelled, "I cannot believe it after all you've promised me, and all the plans you've made. You've sworn off all this!"

"I know it looks bad, but, well, I was so stressed out and everything," I tried to explain.

She frowned at me, "You drank that much just while I was in the BATHROOM?"

I was embarrassed. I was an asshole. I had fucked up, and I didn't know what to do. So I cried, something I had been somewhat getting accustomed to these last few weeks. The tears started almost instantly; weld up in my eyes on cue. I had turned into an emotional wreck.

"Aw, Shane . . ." Mitchie said, pulling me in for a hug.

I held on to her, absorbing her sympathy.

-

By the time we made it to Camp Rock, everyone was standing around waiting for me.

"Dude! We've all been waiting! We're going to start the concert any minute! Greg told us you weren't coming," Nate explained, as I got backstage.

Asshole.

Mitchie had gone to watch from the audience, and I could hear so many people packing themselves into the building.

All the people that wanted to see me fail. All the people who wanted to see Robbie. All the people who just wanted to see history. And one, at least one who just wanted to see Shane Gray, the real Shane Gray.

Honestly, I was scared. I was scared to perform onstage again. I was scared to face the world, and to face my Camp Rock past. The last time I had sung on this stage, it was Final Jam, and Mitchie and I had sung together.

Honestly, I was still a little buzzed from the beers I drank; still a little emotional from the crying.

But I would have to face the world again, this time as Shane Gray.

The curtain was going up, and I walked to my spot in front of the microphone, getting prepared to open the show. The roar of the audience was deafening as I walked out, Jason and Nate in tow.

The lights dimmed. A single spotlight. All eyes were on me, but all I could see was Mitchie's face in the crowd.

I couldn't move. I couldn't speak. It was my time, and I was about to blow it.

**A/N: Sorry it's been taking me so long to update, but here's chapter ten. Also, I'm not sure who did, but I would like to thank whoever nominated this story for the Official Camp Rock Awards. It's really cool that somebody thought of my story to nominate for such a big contest. I don't even care if I win, it's just good to know that you guys appreciate the effort I'm putting into this story.**

**Again, thank you.**

**Please review, and let me know if you liked this chapter! **


	11. Chapter 11

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. I was on stage.

A stage is what ruined my life.

A stage is what Robbie sung on in the movie.

I wasn't a stage.

The bright glows from the lights were hurting my eyes, and the crowd was starting to talk, confused muffles, because I hadn't sung yet.

I squeezed my eyes shut, and opened them again. Nate had stopped the band, and Jason forcefully yanked the cord out of his bass.

My entire life came to this moment. I had to save my past, the life that I wanted. If Camp Rock went crashing down, so did Shane Gray, the Shane Gray I wanted to be.

I took a deep breath and sighed, singing into the microphone, my a cappella voice echoed throughout the theatre,

"This is real,

This is me,

I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be now,

Gonna let the light,

Shine on me."

The band started behind me. As that last sentenced haunted the room.

"Now I've found who I am,

There's no way to hold it in,

No more hiding who I want to be,

This is me."

A tear fell from my eye, as I cried for the world to see. I cried for breaking Mitchie's spirit, and for turning into a horrible person. I cried for Cassidy and the shit I put her through. But most of all I cried because it was all behind me, and I was ready for whatever would come.

-

I couldn't go anywhere without someone noticing me, whether it was for the Cassidy break-up, or for the Camp Rock concert, they all knew me. They all still knew me.

I was sporting the latest disguise, a baseball hat and a black sweatshirt. I know, terribly creative.

I was supposed to be meeting the guys at Nate's house, and had decided to walk and enjoy the day. I walked past a newsstand, casually, and stepped back.

The cover of a popular celebrity magazine was featuring her.

My ex-wife.

She was married again.

Shit. Was I really that easy to get over? My ego hurt a little as I paid for the magazine. Beautiful Cassidy in a smiling picture of her and country's latest golden boy.

Wow, she had stooped to the level of fucking country singers.

I realized I was being mean about the situation, at least she wasn't depressed.

Everything had turned out for the better, or so I thought.

"Hey, where's the robbery?" Someone yelled, mocking my discrete outfit.

I turned around. It was Jason driving in his Saturn Vue next to me.

"Ha, you're funny," I laughed.

"Need a ride?" he asked, stopping the car.

"Nah, I'm not one to hitchhike from strangers," I joked.

"Well, what if the stranger's got candy?"

"In that case . . ."

We laughed. It was good to be friends with Jason again. Ever since Connect 3 had been redeemed at the Camp Rock concert, it was just like old times.

"What are you reading anyway?" he asked, glancing at my magazine.

"Oh, Cassidy's re-married."

Jason smirked, "figures."

"Just shut it, I know I was a jack-ass," I laughed, "There's a story in here about you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, apparently Sparky was voted celebrity dog of the year."

"Shit. An article about my dog and nothing about me?"

I laughed. That was great.

"Dude, I got to tell you something. I was going to wait until we were with Nate but I can't stand it anymore," Jason confessed.

"What's up?"

"Well . . . I'm going to be a dad!" he smiled excitedly, almost swerving off the road.

A pang of jealousy shot through me.

At one time I thought I was going to be a dad.

I thought there would be a little Shane for me to take care of.

"That's . . . awesome Jay," I admitted, looking out the window and letting out a sigh.

I was hoping Mitchie and I would be really serious by now, but she's not a girl to make such big steps, especially after I fucked up so bad.

I was just lucky to be getting a second chance.

-

We finally go to Nate's house, and there was an unfamiliar car in the drive-way.

"Think Nate's got a lady friend?" Jason joked.

"Who knows, maybe he got a new car."

We walked into the house without knocking, like we always did. Nate was crazy for being in the public eye and leaving his door open.

"TELL ME!" we heard someone screaming from his basement.

It was a girl.

Our first instinct was to run.

Our feet pounded down the stairs.

What the HELL was going on?

We walked into the room to see Nate laying face down on the carpet, a puddle of blood seeping under his body.

And a deranged Cassidy standing above him with a knife.

**A/N: Sorry about the wait! This story is almost over, and I've finally thought of a way to really tie it up. Maybe three more chapters? Don't quote me. Anyway, not as good as the other parts, but thanks for reading, and let me know what you think! :P**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: I know everyone probably wants to kill me for procrastinating for so long, but I've FINALLY gotten time to update. I just hope the readers are still there? So anyway, I reread this story and now that it's fresh in my mind, I know what's going to happen next but I'm not quite sure how it's going to end. Alright, not going to delay anymore, here is chapter 12. **

"Cassidy," I said shaking, "put the knife down."

Jason had already run up the stairs with his cell phone out to call 911.

"Shane," she said, staring straight at me.

All I could think about was that knife that was still in her hand. Would I have to fend for my life? I didn't even have time to worry about Nate, I was that terrified.

She dropped the knife, and I started shaking as she ran toward me.

"Take me back Shane!" she yelled, flailing her arms around my waist, smudging Nate's blood on my shirt.

I was frozen. The girl that had quite possibly just killed my best friend was hugging me. The girl I was married to at one point. All I could see in her was a cold blooded heart and a naïve little girl, who would never quite understand what life was all about.

"Cassidy. Back away from me now," I said, trying to stay calm, "think about your new husband, he loves you, so you don't need me."

She backed up as I asked, and gave me a weird look. She was curiously calm for someone who had possibly just committed a murder. And yet, so was I. Nate's true condition hadn't quite settled in my mind as of yet.

"Mitchie," she stated simply, a glowing look of evil in her eyes.

At that moment, we could hear the sirens.

"Shane! Are you alright?" Jason yelled down the stairs.

"Nothing is alright," I stated, not loud enough for him to even hear, falling to my knees and staring at my best friend's leaking, limp body.

And everything went black.

-

**A/N: I don't really know what to put next, but I found this, and figured I'd post it if anyone still wants to know what happens in this story! Hopefully you readers are around here somewhere, and when I figure out what I want to happen to our good characters, I'll update. =)**


	13. Chapter 13

I wasn't sure how long I had been out cold; all I knew was that this was a strangely white room.

Jason and his wife were next to me, and I realized I was in a bed.

A hospital bed.

"Shane!" Jason exclaimed, leaning closer to my bed, and startling a drowsy Dani.

"What's going on?" I asked, taking in my surroundings.

Plugs and screens and IVs and curtains, I was defiantly in a hospital.

"They said you would wake up eventually," Jason said, "They said you were passed out from shock."

"WHAT. HAPPENED?" I demanded.

Jason looked at Dani, and she nodded.

"Nate . . . you know . . ."

Silence.

". . . Got stabbed by my fucking ex-wife," I finished eventually. It all was coming back to me. The evil girl, his limp body, "well is he okay?"

"He hasn't woken up, and he is in critical condition," Jason said.

"Well, I want to see him," I decided, starting to get out of my bed.

I was hooked up to that damn IV.

Fuck.

I pressed the nurse's call button like 10 times in a row.

"How long does this freaking take?" I asked.

Jason actually kind of laughed at me, but I was totally being an asshole and I knew it.

A nurse came running into the room, "is there an emergency?"

No, I was just an impatient jerk.

"I want to go see my friend," I said, pointing at the useless IV that was in me.

"I'm sorry, but you have to stay here for at least another 12 hours until we verify that you are alright," she explained.

Fuck this.

I was getting back to swearing regularly I guess, even if it was just in my mind.

"Is he okay?"

She shook her head, "he hasn't woken up, we aren't sure yet if he's going to make it."

My eyes started to tear up, and my body felt so limp. For once I was so weak, and I didn't even have a smart-ass remark to say.

"What did they do with Cassidy?" I asked.

"She's in jail Shane, with a huge bond, and no one wants to bail her out," Jason said, looking a little nervous.

Good. The crazy bitch deserved it.

Jason and Dani were being very awkward.

The nurse checked a bunch of stuff on the little screens that were around me, and left to inform the staff that I had finally woken up.

It was then that I noticed the flowers, the gifts and everything in my room.

"Get better Shane!"

"We love you Shane!"

"Rock on, Robbie."

They said.

Somehow I supposed I still had some fans out there, and they were concerned about me.

I switched on the TV. What else was there really to do when you were confined to a hospital bed?

They didn't have cable. Shit.

News or Oprah.

I choose the news.

"Should we tell him?" Jason asked Dani.

"Tell me what?" I asked, now fixated on the television.

"There have been no new developments in the Cassidy/Connect 3 situation . . ." the television stated.

Wow. They were talking about us!

"Maybe we should turn this off Shane . . ." Jason said, starting to stand up.

"No! I want to see what they say, I'm fine dude," I stated, as he sat back down.

"As most of our viewers know, Cassidy, formerly the wife of Connect 3 member Shane Gray was arrested last night after police say she went crazy, possibly over the recent divorce between her and Shane."

I kind of laughed. Crazy was an understatement. She was insane, certifiably!

"Her rampage started as authorities say she was in search of the singer at his new place of residence with new girlfriend Mitchie Torres, who was found stabbed to death this afternoon following investigations. She continued her spree at Connect 3 member Nate's house in search of Shane, where he was left stabbed and in critical condition. They say Shane Gray is in stable condition, and is staying temporarily at an unnamed hospital in the area due to symptoms of shock."

"Mitchie Torres, who was found dead this afternoon following investigations."

"Mitchie Torres, who was found dead this afternoon following investigations."

"Mitchie Torres, who was found dead this afternoon following investigations."

Mitchie was gone.

She was dead.

She didn't exist and nobody told me.

Nobody told me.

I shut my eyes, and quivered beneath the sheets of the bed.

Mitchie was fucking dead.

"You. Didn't. Tell. Me." I said.

"It was for the best Shane, we were going to tell you-"Jason started to explain.

"YOU DIDN'T FUCKING TELL ME MY GIRLFRIEND WAS KILLED!"

Jason and Dani stood up, and sprinted to the door.

Good. Let them go.

Let me lay in my misery.

I had paid the ultimate price for my messed up past.

Mitchie, who was going to marry me.

Happy, smiling, care-free Mitchie.

She was gone, and it was because of me.

I couldn't forgive myself, I couldn't stand to face what happened, and I almost didn't believe it.

They had to be lying, had to.

Mitchie was probably at school. Or she was at work.

All that kept running through my mind was that news picture of her. A smiling, happy, picture of my beautiful girlfriend.

Maybe if I could get home, she would still be there.

She would probably be waiting for me.

The tremors started, I couldn't stop shaking, and I wanted to throw up.

My best friend was almost dead, and my girlfriend was.

I was all alone.

I was getting dizzy; I couldn't keep my thoughts straight anymore.

Why should I live another day on this earth, when Mitchie wasn't here.

What the fuck did I have to left live for?


	14. Chapter 14

_-Flashback-_

"_Shane?"_

"_Yes Mitchie?"  
We were riding in my black mustang convertible. It was a Saturday morning, and we were on our way to get some breakfast. _

"_What's going to happen to us in the future?"_

"_What do you mean, Mitch?" I asked, a little bit confused. _

"_I mean, what are we doing? Everything is so picture perfect, wonderful right now," she explained, "I'm riding in an expensive car with a famous rockstar, and I feel like nothing can go wrong."_

"_So . . . what's wrong?"_

"_Well, Shane I just have the feeling that since everything is so perfect something is going to go wrong," she said, "you could have anyone, but you chose me. Are you sure you aren't going to leave me for someone famous."_

"_You're almost famous!" I joked, "Well, someday."_

_I pulled into a parking spot at our favorite diner. _

_I looked at Mitchie. Gorgeous and beautiful Mitchie._

_I grabbed her hands in mine. _

"_We'll be together forever Mitchie, I can feel it," I told her, and I was convinced._

_She smiled at me, "Looking in your eyes makes me feel so much better."_

_I loved this girl. _

"_My stomach is going to start yelling at me if I don't eat something soon!" I laughed, as we hopped out of the car. _

_So carefree. So pure._

_I loved Mitchie Torres_

_-_

"Mr. Gray . . . ?"

Someone was shaking me.

"Mitchie?" I asked, opening my eyes to see a nurse standing above my bed.

"Um . . . Mr. Gray you are all clear to leave if you wish," she explained, "Your friend woke up about an hour ago."

"Mitchie?" I asked.

"Nate," she replied, helping me out of bed.

Nate. I had to see Nate.

When I had finally been clothed, and made my way over to Nate's room, I noticed Jason standing at the door.

I glared at him.

"His parents are in there now," Jason said, looking down at his feet.

"What about Mitchie?" I asked.

Jason looked startled, "Shane . . . uh . . . "

"SHANE!" Nate's mother yelled, opening the door to his room, "you're okay!"

She pulled me into a hug. Nate's mom was always too touchy.

"Yeah, but I haven't seen Mitchie yet," I told her, "but I'm glad Nate's okay."

She gave me a strange look, and then looked at Jason, who also looked confused.

"What is wrong?" I asked, wondering what all this commotion was about.

"Nothing Shane," Jason said, "Go see Nate."

I opened the door to the hospital room. I know how Nate must feel, seeing I had been locked up in one for about two days now. It was like a prison, and everyone came in and stared at you while you were trying to sleep.

"Hey man," I said, looking down at Nate.  
"You're okay," he said, trying to smile.

He looked really pale, like the hospital time had sucked all the life out of him.

"I'M okay, they were mostly concerned about YOU," I said, "that wasn't a very nice injury."

"It was crazy man, when I get out of here, I'll tell you the details," he said.

"I can't stop thinking this is my fault," I admitted, looking at the ground.

"Dude. It's NOT your fault," he said, "its Cassidy's, and she'll be punished for it. Please don't blame yourself Shane."

I nodded. Nate was a good guy.

He made me feel a little bit better.

"Listen, I'm really antsy to get out of this hospital to see Mitchie," I told him.

"Shane . . . dude, they didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?" I asked.

Now Nate was acting weird too.

He kind of squinted at me.

"Shane . . . are you okay?"

The room was starting to get blurry. I could barely see Nate anymore.

I couldn't stand up straight anymore, and my heart was racing.

"HELP!"

Was the last thing I heard Nate scream before I blacked out.

-

"Do you think he's . . . going crazy?" I heard someone ask.

"I think he's got a massive headache," I said, opening my eyes.

I was in a hospital bed.

Again.

Shit.

God, not again.

"Shane!" Jason exclaimed, standing at the end of my bed.

"Dude, what happened?" I asked, "Why am I here again?"

A nurse started checking my pulse, and all of that stuff they do.

"Shane you just like fell over in Nate's room," Jason said, "what's happening to you?"

Jason and the nurse were the only ones there.

"Shock," the nurse said simply.

"Shock from what?" I asked.

Shit.

"MITCHIE!!!" I yelled.

It was like all forms of dread and despair overtook my body. I started to shake.

"She's gone! She's FUCKING gone!"

"Shane calm down!" Jason yelled.

The nurse looked really worried.

I was scared as hell. It was as though I forgot about her, and then remembered that she was gone later. What the hell was happening to me?

I couldn't stop shaking, and I was cold as the icy heart that lay inside my ex-wife.

I was going fucking insane.

**-**

**A/N: Poor Shane. He's so crazy. Sorry about the lame-o chapter. **

**Don't worry everyone. I believe there will still be one more chapter to the story, so look for it soon! Thanks for reading, and drop me a review if you get a chance. **


	15. Chapter 15

"Shane! Over here!" yelled another photographer.

"Shane Gray!"

I was tired of these people following me. I was walking out of my favorite night club in San Francisco, "The Rocky Room" and realized I had to run to the car that was waiting for me because of all the cameras. Mitchie had been gone for eight months, and these people were just tireless with their cameras ever since, trying to get a picture of "crazy Shane" as a magazine had called me last week.

I was a little buzzed, and tonight it was more than just alcohol. I looked at my cell phone. 3 am. The night was young.

God was I hungry. Maybe I had gotten a little drunker than I thought.

My driver pulled up to the other club and I stumbled out into flashes of light from all the cameras.

"Lay off!" I yelled, sifting through the mess and into the club.

I headed straight to an empty seat at the bar, and ordered myself a drink.

They never cut off the celebrities at the bar.

"You're Shane right?" someone asked behind me.

"What's it to you?" I asked, as she sat down next to me.

It was a beautiful blonde. Well, everyone looked beautiful in the darkness of the club, and the haze of my drunken eyes.

We sat there in silence for awhile. I didn't really know what to say.

"You're a singer right?" I asked, knowing that the only people who usually had the nerve to talk to me in a club were famous.

"Yeah," she said, "I've always had a bit of a crush on you."

"Oh yeah?"

"Since you were in Connect 3."

I grunted.

Jason was the 'family man' now, and talked to me on occasion. He had a wife and baby to think about. Nate dropped everything when he got a hosting gig on a new reality TV show.

"Sorry . . . I didn't want to offend you," she said, starting to stand up.

"No, it's really okay," I said, "sit."

She sat back down, looking a little nervous.

"I don't think it's true what they say you know," she told me, "that you're crazy."

"Thanks," I said, "but I am."

I was on my second drink at this point, on top of whatever substances I had ingested at The Rocky Room.

But she stayed.

"You're not looking for an autograph are you?" I asked, wondering why she was still there.

"No . . . "

"Good. I hate them," I told her, "and celebrities only talk to me because they want a part in Rockstar 2."

"I'm not looking for a part in your movie," she said, "I just thought . . ."

"THOUGHT WHAT?" I demanded, "Thought you could 'understand me'? That's what they all fucking say. How would you like it if the one person you loved was murdered by the person you thought you loved at one point?"

"Horrible," she simply responded, "I just thought we could be friends, because I thought you might need one. And I sure as hell need a friend right now."

She started to stand up, "In the beginning you picked her . . . at Camp Rock, you chose Mitchie, and no one is ever going to be let into your life to change you for the better, except for her. I feel sorry for you Shane."

She stormed away from me into the crowd.

She knew about Camp Rock?

I felt a little shitty for being mean to her, but who did she think she was anyway?

In my stupor I couldn't even recognize the singer I had talked to. I didn't even know her name.

I ran into the crowd of wild, dancing people. I had to apologize. I had to know who that was.

I was getting dizzy in the crowded room. What the hell was I going to do?

Then it hit me.

I had turned into a horrible person again, just like that blonde girl said. Mitchie was the only one who was ever able to change me. Now I was worse than ever, hanging around in a nightclub at four in the morning.

Mitchie could change me still. She would want me to move on for her, she didn't like when I drank or did drugs. I had to stop, and somehow I felt like that girl was what I needed to change. Maybe Mitchie had sent her to me.

I found her standing in a corner, messing with her cell phone.

"Why are you here so late anyway?" I asked, walking up to her.

"What does it matter?" she snapped, walking away from me.

"It doesn't," I said, "I wanted to say sorry for treating you so shitty."

She actually smiled, "you know, you are like everyone says you are, a charmer."

I laughed, "Not after how much I drank tonight. So are we friends?"

"Friends." She answered.

"I don't even know your name," I said, "it was really rude of me."

"It's okay," she said, "I'm Tess. Tess Tyler. We've met before."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I'm back. =) On with the story.**

**-**

"We've met . . . where?" I asked, completely confused, and yet I knew I had seen her before.

"Camp Rock," she explained, "you hated me, and I stalked you like all summer."

Tess. Tess Tyler. I knew who she was!

"You were the one that used to pick on Mitchie, right?"

She smirked, "Yeah, I was kind of a bully. She deserved it though. I mean . . ."

I frowned.

"I didn't mean it like that," Tess explained, "I just mean that she was a bit annoying and she did lie to you, but I was totally jealous of her. She was a way better singer than me."

Talking about Mitchie with someone was a little calming. I usually avoided it.

"Well, I think I've had a little too much to drink right now, and I'd love to have an intelligent conversation with you sometime," I told her, "Here"

I handed her my number after scribbling on a napkin.

"I hope you can read it," I laughed, realizing I wasn't in the state of mind to be writing anything.

She laughed, "I can read it. I'll give you a call sometime."

With that, I stumbled out of the club, tired and hungry, wondering if McDonald's was open this late.

-

I awoke to my alarm blaring in my ear.

3pm.

Good thing I didn't have work today. Filming for Rockstar 2 was to start tomorrow.

I rolled out of bed with a throbbing headache, and checked my phone.

A message from Tess.

_Hung-over much? I know I am._

I smiled. Maybe today would be a good day.

"Mitchie, if you're watching me, I didn't mean to drink that much," I said to my ceiling.

Oh well. How else would she expect me to cope?

I was supposed to be meeting with Greg in about an hour, but I was considering blowing him off. I wasn't really quite sure what I could do today all by myself.

I switched on the TV.

Of course I was on the news.

"Superstar Shane Gray was spotted late last night going through a McDonald's drive-thru. Suspicions of an alcohol addiction may be true after seeing his state in the passenger's seat of his car."

Oh God.

It was a picture of me with the window open, and my head on the side of the door while Randy was driving me through McDonalds. How embarrassing.

"As you may know, Shane Gray is receiving a lot of media coverage lately because of the incident a few months ago involving the shooting death of his girlfriend by his ex-wife. Rockstar 2 begins production early tomorrow with Gray, alongside the debut actress Lydia Gellerson."

They showed a picture of the young, very cute looking brunette that would be playing my love interest. She was pretty, and if I wasn't still dwelling over Mitchie, I would totally go for that chick.

Instead of seeing myself be a fool on television all day, I decided my time would be better spent actually attending the meeting with Greg. Maybe later I could meet up with Nate.

I pressed his speed dial and waited for an answer.

"Nate here,"

"Hey dude, its Shane, I was wondering if you wanted to meet up later?"

"Can't. We are taping the finale of my show."

"It's cool, maybe next week?"

"Sure . . . hey, you okay? I saw the McDonald's thing this morning."

Jesus.

"Yeah, just got a little carried away last night. Dude, guess who I ran into last night?"

"Who?"

"Remember Tess from Camp Rock?"

"Yeah, you saw her? She's like mega famous now."

"Yeah, and she's actually normal now, it was pretty cool."

"By the way," Nate added, "you're totally hooking me up with that Lydia chick."

"Ha- haven't met her yet," I said, "We'll see."

"Why? You want her?" he joked.

"Nah, I'm not really interested in dating right now," I explained.

"Dude, you have to get over Mitchie at some point. This may be your chance. What about Tess?"

"Nate, I can't just get over the love of my life so easily, you don't understand."

There was silence on the other end.

"Shane, Mitchie and I were friends too," Nate said, "you're not the only one who's suffering and has to move on."

Nate suffering because of Mitchie? As if. She was MY girlfriend, MY Mitchie.

"Just because you fucked her when we broke up doesn't mean shit," I said, starting to get angry, "Mitchie had feelings for me."

"I fucking had feelings for her but you know what Shane? She couldn't get over YOU," he said, "You, the one that fucked her over and cheated on her. She couldn't return my feelings because she stayed in love with you."

". . . You loved her?"

"Yes," he said, "I'm sorry dude; I didn't really want to get into this right now . . ."

"No, it's okay. I'm being selfish," I admitted, "you are right."

I needed to get over Mitchie. I needed to stop thinking about myself, and maybe start thinking of other people for once.

I got off the phone with Nate, and made my way over to the studio for the meeting with Greg. I was deep in thought and totally caught off guard when she walked in.

Lydia Gellerson.

-

**A/N: I realized there was so much more I could do with this story, and decided to continue it. Don't be mad that I said it was over, because at the time I really thought it was. I decided to change my pen name as well. So, I'm not sure how many chapters more it will be, but there's a lot more to happen in the life of our good pal Shane. Thanks for reading! =)**


	17. Chapter 17

Lydia looked like Mitchie, they had the same simple style and natural beauty. Opposite of Tess, who while beautiful, was more of the excess make-up and trying too hard type.

"Shane?"

"SHANE!" Greg yelled.

I jumped, and Lydia laughed.

"Here's your script," Greg rolled his eyes, handing me a large stack of papers, "and I have a proposal for you."

"What kind of proposal?" I asked, starting to flip through the pages.

"Well," he started, "I was thinking in order to start some hype for the new movie… you could publicly date Lydia here."

"WHAT? You want me to do WHAT? I just met her," I snapped, and added in her direction, "No offense or anything."

"Ms. Gellerson has agreed, Shane, it's for your career," Greg stated.

I kind of knew he was right. I kind of wanted to go along with the plan, seeing such a beautiful girl here, but I had felt some kind of draw toward Tess.

And I sort of felt bad that it would be fake.

"I'll think about it…" I decided, turning around with the large script under my arm.

"Shane," a sweet voice said, Lydia.

"Yes?" I asked, spinning around again.

"I was kind of wondering… if you would like to run lines with me?" she smiled, "after all, we are going to be co-stars."

She was so… cute. And hot. And I wanted to so bad.

"Yeah… but not where anyone will see us," I decided.

Greg smirked, "Let me know what you decide."

Lydia and I walked outside to where Randy was waiting for me.

"We could go to my house, it's a gated community, very _private_," she suggested, running her hands through her hair after she buckled her seat belt.

"Sure," I agreed, feeling slightly awkward with this new girl I barely knew.

I looked down, a text from Tess.

_What are you doing tonight?_

Damn.

_Feeling sick, going to bed. I'll text you in the morning._

Liar.

_Okay, feel better!_

I was such a liar. If Tess knew I was with Lydia, and that I had lied, I could say goodbye to that little friendship that I had just started. But I felt like it was such a good idea, as I stared back at the brown-eyed girl sitting next to me.

Lydia's house was huge. She lived alone.

"So let's see, what scene should we rehearse?"

I turned on my charm, "Any kissing scenes?"

She giggled, "I'm not sure, I've only read bits and pieces of the script. I think it's really cool that you're doing this, especially after what happened with your girlfriend, and your ex-wife and everything."

"Doing what?" I asked, "doing this movie? Well it's just for my career. It seems to be what the fans want from me so…"

My mind drifted off to Mitchie.

"I just thought it would be rough, them basing it off of those circumstances and all."

"Off what circumstances?" my mind raced, not fully comprehending what she was saying.

"They didn't tell you?" she shifted uncomfortably, "Rockstar 2 is based on your real life."

I was overwhelmed and filled with rage.

Could they really do this to me?

Was this really happening?

I looked down at the script.

"Uh… what character are you playing?" I asked, my heart starting to beat faster.

"Carridy," she said quietly, feeling nervous, "are you shaking Shane?"

They wanted to show the world what happened to me, what happened to Mitchie, on a movie screen?

No one knows what happened, no one knows how I feel.

How could I act this out, how could I watch it and let the world watch it on a big movie screen?

It was sick and twisted, and that's exactly how I started to feel, sick and twisted.

I looked up at Lydia, and all I could see was the blonde-devil Cassidy, it was almost as if I could see the rage in her eyes, ready to kill or try again.

I didn't realize what I was doing for awhile, until finally all I could hear were the screams.

Lydia's screams.

I looked down and saw myself choking her, stopping finally to let her catch her breathe.

What was I doing?

What had a done?

"Lydia…"

There was terror in her eyes, as she shakily stood up and ran from the room.

"Lydia! WAIT!"

I couldn't stand up, I fell to my knees with my head down and sobbed.

Soon enough I heard the sirens, and that's how they found me.

Pitiful on the floor.


End file.
